Consulting and coaching
Roast My Brand: Brand Audit Services With a Cheeky Twist
A brand audit is an honest read of how your brand lands with your target audience. Roast My Brand is ours: we review your positioning, brand message, website, visual identity, and AI visibility the way a buyer does, then tell you what is working, what is costing you, and what to fix first.
Get Your Brand Roasted
Why now
Something Is Off With Your Brand. You Already Know It.
Your brand looks fine on paper, and then a prospect says “this looks interesting” before disappearing for good. Potential customers take too long to understand what you do, and by the time the message finally registers, their attention has already moved on to a competitor.
That gap usually comes down to clarity. Most organizations have excellent work and a capable team behind them, plus a message that only makes sense to the people who wrote it. A brand audit finds where the message breaks down, what it does to the customer experience, and how much that break is costing you in lost deals and customer loyalty.
We call ours a roast because you get the findings without the polite padding. We are a brand management company, so we know where brand strategy drifts over time, and we would prefer you hear it from us before another quarter of guessing.
Who This Brand Audit Is For
Roast My Brand is designed for founders who believe their brand should be performing better by now, executives who suspect the message is not resonating, and teams trapped in the same brand debate every month. It suits startups before or after a fundraise, companies scaling quickly, and established businesses preparing to reposition, expand internationally, or launch a new offering. Strong brands book brand audit services too, usually right before a major move, because brand performance is easier to protect than to rebuild.
How it runs
What a Brand Audit Covers
A brand audit is a structured review of how your brand is read wherever a buyer forms an opinion. It covers external branding, meaning what customers see, and internal branding, meaning what your team believes and repeats. Our brand audit process runs six passes in a set order, because each one builds on the last. We judge every pass by one test: how fast someone understands you, trusts you, and knows what to do next.
First impression
We meet your brand the way a buyer does: fast, cold, and without the backstory you usually get to tell. Those first few seconds determine whether anyone stays long enough to evaluate the rest, which is why every engagement starts there.
Positioning and narrative
We compare your intended positioning with what the market actually perceives, using your sales conversations, reviews, and customer feedback in place of focus groups. This is where most companies discover the gap they suspected and could never articulate, and it usually explains every “almost” deal.
Messaging and touch points
Website copy, conversion messaging, tone of voice, social presence, marketing materials, and visual identity. Every place a buyer forms an opinion gets checked for two things: how quickly it explains you, and whether brand consistency holds up from your homepage to your sales deck. We also look at signals like bounce rate on your key pages, because a confused visitor leaves fast.
Market and competitive context
We put you next to the businesses buyers actually compare you with and map your strengths and weaknesses against theirs. The differences that hold up become your positioning. The tagline on your About page gets a look too, and so do the signals your audience sends about how they see you.
AI visibility
We put your buyers’ real questions to ChatGPT, Perplexity, Claude, and Google AI Overviews, then log every answer. We check whether you are named, whether the description is accurate, and which competitors get recommended in your place. Most brands have never checked, and the answers are usually eye-opening.
If the gap is wide, our SEO and AEO team can close it.
The roast
You get every finding in plain language: what is working, what is quietly costing you, and what to fix first. Fixes come ranked by business impact, so your team knows exactly what to start on Monday and what can wait for the long term plan.
What You Get From Roast My Brand
A clear breakdown of what is working and what is not
Honest findings in plain language, with no jargon
A brand audit checklist built from your own gaps
Priority fixes ranked by business impact
Direction for your brand identity, messaging, and positioning
A record of what AI search says about you today
Guidance for your marketing strategy and next decisions
Language your whole team can rally around
Investment
What it costs.
1 to 10 employees
full audit, market research, and written recommendations
11 to 200 employees
full audit, market research, and written recommendations
200 or more employees
full audit, market research, and written recommendations
Pricing runs by company size. Each tier covers the full brand audit, the market research, and written recommendations. You leave knowing why your brand feels stuck and what to do about it, including whether you need a rebrand, which, in many cases, you do not.
Case study
Where We’ve Made Waves
Case study
Clarity before creative
Positioning came first, the engine ran for four years, and Watts acquired the company in 2021.
Single account closed from the engine
Running it for them
Acquired by Watts
Get in touch
Let's Chat About It
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Before you book
Roast My Brand FAQ
What is a brand audit?
A brand audit is a structured review of how your brand is read wherever a buyer forms an opinion: positioning, messaging, website, visual identity, competitors, and AI search. It separates what is working from what is costing you opportunities, then ranks what to fix first. Roast My Brand is our version, delivered without the cushioning.
What do brand audit services include?
Ours include six passes: first impression, positioning and narrative, messaging and touch points, market and competitive context, AI visibility, and the final roast. You get a written breakdown, priority fixes ranked by business impact, and clear direction for your messaging.
Is this an actual roast or consulting in a costume?
Both. The feedback is direct, and the jokes stay out of the findings. Each finding comes with a fix you can act on: honest critique, plus the repair instructions.
How much does a brand audit cost?
Roast My Brand is priced by company size: $1,595 for 1 to 10 employees, $3,595 for 11 to 200, and $7,595 for 200 or more. Each tier covers the full audit, the market research, and written recommendations.
When should I book a brand audit?
Schedule one before a launch, after a funding round, ahead of an expansion, or whenever marketing activity feels busy while results remain flat. It also helps when brand decisions keep turning into internal debates, or when someone on your team keeps saying “this doesn’t feel like us.”
How do you conduct a brand audit?
To conduct a brand audit, we start cold, the way a buyer meets you, then compare your positioning with how the market hears it. Next comes every touch point, your competitive set, and what AI assistants say about you. The roast turns everything we found into ranked fixes.
Is a brand audit just design feedback?
No. Design is one layer. A real brand audit looks at strategy, market perception, messaging, customer understanding, and competitive context, because most branding problems start well before the visuals.
Will a brand audit tell me if I need a rebrand?
Yes, and it will also confirm when you do not. Many organizations benefit more from sharper positioning and stronger internal alignment than from a new logo or visual identity.
Is a brand audit only for struggling brands?
No. Established brands schedule audits proactively to protect their position, typically ahead of a fundraise, a product launch, or an expansion into new markets.
Will you rewrite everything for us?
Roast My Brand is diagnosis and strategic direction. For help putting the fixes in place, our brand management team can take it from there.
How long does a brand audit take?
Timing depends on the size of your organization and the number of channels you operate. Every engagement includes review, research, and strategy mapping across your positioning and touch points, and we confirm the timeline before work begins.
What makes Pink Fins different from other brand audit agencies?
You get strategic depth, commercial reality checks, and narrative expertise from practitioners who manage brands professionally. Most importantly, you get honesty, minus the corporate theater.
Ready to Make Waves?
Start with a single 30-minute call. We will share what stands out from the outside looking in, and by the end you will know whether a full roast is worth the investment.
Book a 30-minute strategy call